by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Weight loss - such a "big" topic! Every month another book or program is out by another expert on weight loss. Everyone wants to know the secret to losing weight.
Weight used to be a major issue for me. Losing weight was never out of my thoughts, and I can't tell you how many different diets, pills and programs I tried until I discovered some "secrets" that have worked for me for many years now.
1. Learn to discern which part of you determines what and when you eat, as well as how much you eat.
We all have a wounded part of ourselves that uses various addictions as ways to deal with feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, grief, aloneness, helplessness, anxiety, depression, fear and anger. Some people may use alcohol, drugs, spending, TV, gambling, sex, and so on to avoid their pain, while others use food. Food works to pacify painful feelings for the moment, but in the long run all addictions backfire and create the very pain you are trying to avoid. You will keep choosing addictive behavior as a way of managing pain until you learn how to manage it in loving ways. Learning to lovingly manage painful feelings is essential to be able to lose and maintain your weight.
The part of you that is capable of managing painful feelings in healthy ways and making healthy choices is the loving Adult. The loving Adult is the part of us that has a deep desire to learn about and take loving action in our own behalf. Developing a loving Adult, through the practice of Inner Bonding, is a major aspect in creating health and wellbeing, as well as in losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight.
2. Learn to connect with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, love and guidance.
The loving Adult is that part of us that is connected with a spiritual source of guidance rather than being governed by the mind. The mind, being programmed from childhood, is the home of the wounded self. You are being a loving Adult at those moments when you choose to be guided by a source of wisdom beyond your mind. This source will always guide you toward your highest good. You just need to learn to open and listen, which happens as you practice Inner Bonding.
3. Change your focus from losing weight to achieving great health.
I grew up as a sickly child and I was a sickly young adult. I hated being sick and never having energy to do all the things I wanted to do. So I decided to learn about what creates great health. First I read tons of books on nutrition and became convinced that I needed to switch to organic foods. That was quite a challenge in 1961! There was one coop health food store that I had to follow around Los Angeles because it kept moving locations. But it was worth it! My rule of thumb now is - if they didn't eat it 200 years ago, then I won't eat it now. This cuts out most packaged and processed foods and leaves natural, organic food.
4. Learn to read your body signals regarding what feels good to your body and what feels bad.
I no longer read about all the different diets because I've learned to tune into MY body so that I know exactly what my body needs for great health. Since my body needs different things than your body, no single food plan will work for everyone. Your job is to learn to tune into what gives you energy and what robs you of energy, and what foods create calmness and which ones create agitation. Once I learned what my body needs for great health, I lost weight and kept it off easily.
5. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and that you can do at least five times a week.
I discovered that I love to walk in nature, so I take a fast half-hour walk every day. You need to discover what you love to do, even if you have physical limitations or chronic illness. It is very likely that you will not only lose weight, but will also move into more physical and emotional health and well-being if you embrace these "secrets". Once you have developed a powerful loving inner Adult through your Inner Bonding practice, you will be able to lose weight. If you really want to lose weight, there is a way!
